Yesterday was my 12th wedding anniversary. I was reading all the notes people wrote to us on Facebook giving their congratulations. It's so nice to be loved. The one that really made me think was someone who wished us many more happy years together.
I was thinking to myself how, not so very long ago, that would have been a given. When you got married you meant it when you said "Until death do us part". But in today's world of flash pan marriages, lasting a few short years to a few short weeks, it just doesn't look the same does it? As soon as the cuteness starts to wear off, and trust me after twelve years we have seen the cuteness come and go in our marriage, we start to get antsy. We start looking for the bad in our mates and become blind to our own.
Jesus described it like this: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Matthew 7:3-5
We love each other best by extending patience for mistakes and mercy in the good and the bad and when we remember that the perfection that we are looking for in others doesn't even exist in ourselves. The key to many more happy years together is this- Grace.
A friend passed only this lovely story to me this morning and I thought since it fit so perfectly I would pass it along:
When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed!
Yet, all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that ugly burned biscuit. He ate every bite of that thing...never made a face nor uttered a word about it!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits every now and then."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"
As I've grown older, I've thought about that many times. Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults and choosing to celebrate each others differences is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
And that's my prayer for you today...that you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!
We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship! Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own.
So, please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burned one will do just fine.
Blessings friends,
Mandy Sherwood
