Care

Make a Difference in Someone's Life...

Cedar Valley Hospice is looking for compassionate people to provide support to terminally ill patients and their families.  Volunteers help patients and families to maintain a sense of balance and quality of life during a most difficult time. 

Services volunteers provide include: companionship, respite, listening, shopping, errands and transportation.  Volunteers also assist in the Hospice Home.  Effective volunteers are willing to listen and respond to families' needs with genuineness and empathy.

 

Cedar Valley Hospice Patient/Family Volunteer Training

March 26 & 28 AND April 2 & 4 from 9:00am to 12:30pm
Kimball Ridge Center, 2101 Kimball Ave., Waterloo
Participants must attend all training sessions.

Topics covered in volunteer training include:

• Hospice Philosophy
• Attitudes Toward Death
• Role of the Nurse, Social Worker, Chaplain and Volunteer
• Spirituality
• Family Dynamics
• Grief and Bereavement

 

Pre-registration is required by March 21.  Please contact Katie Christensen, Coordinator of Volunteer Services at (319) 272.2002 or KChristensen@cvhospice.org

How to Help a Grieving Loved One During the Holidays

12 Practical Tips for Saying, Doing the Right Things
From the National Hospice Foundation and National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization

While many people look forward to yearly holiday traditions, gathering with family and friends and the general good feelings associated with the season, some people dread the holidays.  For those who are bereaved, the holidays, especially the first ones after losing a loved one, are especially difficult.  Often, friends and family members of those affected by a death are unsure how to act or what to say to support their grieving loved one during the holidays. 

Here are some suggestions

1. Be supportive of the way the person chooses to handle the holidays.  Some may wish to follow traditions; others may choose to change their rituals.  Remember, there is no right way or wrong way to handle the holidays. 
2. Offer to help the person with baking and/or cleaning.  Both tasks can be overwhelming for one trying to deal with raw emotions. 
3. Offer to help him or her decorate for the holidays.
4. Offer to help with holiday shopping or give your loved one catalogs or online shopping sites that may be helpful. 
5. Invite the person to attend a church service with you and your family.
6. Invite your loved one to your home for the holidays.
7. Help your loved one prepare and mail holiday cards.
8. Ask the person if he or she is interested in volunteering with you during the holiday season.  Doing something for someone else, such as helping at soup kitchens or working with children, may help your loved one feel better about the holidays. 
9. Donate a gift or money in memory of the person's loved one.  Remind the person that his or her special person is not forgotten. 
10. Never tell someone that he or she should be "over it."  Instead, give the person hope that, eventually, he or she will enjoy the holidays again. 
11. If he or she wants to talk about the deceased loved one or feelings associated with the loss, LISTEN.  Active listening from friends is an important step to helping him or her heal.  Don't worry about being conversational...just listen.
12. Remind the person you are thinking of him or her and the loved one who died.  Cards, phone calls and visits are great ways to stay in touch. 

In general, the bestway to help those who are grieving during the holidays is to let them know you care.  They need to be remembered, and they need to know their loved ones are remembered, too.  Cedar Valley Hospice grief counselors emphasize friends and family members should never be afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, because making an effort and showing concern will be appreciated. 

Cedar Valley Hospice is a valuable resource to help people who are struggling with grief and loss.  Cedar Vally Hospice not only provides bereavement support to the families we serve, but also to the community at no cost. 

cvhospice.org

Chaplain Experiences: the Scholles

Alan and Joyce Scholle, Prairie Lakes chaplains, never know what they may face when making hospital visits.

In July, a woman from Prairie Lakes requested that someone visit her 93-year-old father-in-law, who was hospitalized with kidney problems. Although his son and daughter-in-law attend Prairie Lakes Church, the man attended church elsewhere.

“His daughter-in-law did tell me the family had been praying for him for a long time. When the family would approach him about stepping over the faith line, he would just give them a short “no.” The family knew it was going to take someone from the outside to reach him,” Joyce said.

Because they didn't know him, the Scholles didn't have preconceived ideas about the visit. But they quickly found out.

“We had a conversation, but sometimes he would turn his head away, as if he were angry or processing something else in his mind,” said Joyce. “He had a lot of questions about God’s judgment: 'I don’t understand the Ark. Why were only eight people saved?' and 'I don’t understand the Holocaust. Why would God allow that to happen?' I didn’t feel this visit was going well and asked him if there was anything we could do for him. We prayed for his health and recovery.”

But they weren't ready to give up.

“Alan said, 'I just have one more question for you. Would you like the assurance that you would go to heaven if you were to die?” He surprised us by saying 'yes.' Alan prayed a prayer of salvation with him, and he repeated the words loud and strong,” Joyce said. “With the man's hearing problem, Alan spoke loud enough for the entire 3rd floor to have the chance to receive Christ!”

International Friendship Program

Every year, hundreds of international students come to Cedar Falls to pursue academic studies or hone their English in the Culture and Intensive English Program. Studying abroad can be a wonderful and exciting experience, but it is often accompanied by a mix culture shock and homesickness. The International Friendship Program recruits friendly hosts from the Cedar Valley who are interested in making a student’s experience in the United States warm and comfortable while learning about another culture. By volunteering your time, you will become a source of friendship and learning for students who truly desire American friends in a home away from home. The International Friendship Program is non-residential host family program. In other words, international students do not live with their new American friends, but meet with their host family at their convenience and participate in a variety of activities.

Activities Include:
• Evening or weekend meals
• Family or community sporting events
• Decorating for the holidays and talking about traditions
• Sharing culture through conversation, art, music, etc.
• Playing board games or cards
• Going to university-sponsored IFP events

We generally recommend that committed host families arrange one of these activities with their student per month to ensure a continuous relationship.

By completing an on-line application, your family will be paired with a student who is studying in the Culture and Intensive English Program. Our students can’t wait to meet with you to learn about American culture and practice their English.

Click here for an on-line aplication.

Click here for more information about this program.

Questions or Comments?

Please feel free to contact Sally Roos:

sally.roos@uni.edu

(319) 273-2182

Praying for Influence in Brno, CZ

 

Jesus tells us in Mark 10:27, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." 

What an awesome promise!  Currently, PLC-ers Matt & Natalie Miller are in the Czech Republic, serving at a youth camp.  Pray for the Miller's and their team -- that they would experience God making impossible things in the Czech Republic, possible! 

As you pray for them, you can follow their trip updates on the Influence blog -- here's their most recent post after they arrived in Brno, CZ:

Today we continued our training at the Mayak Center in Brno, CZ. Most of our training today centered around Czech culture and the role that we are to play in the camp this next week. We spent the morning taking a tour of the city of Brno and learning more about both their history and what life is like for them today. Below you will find a photo of our team.

The missionaries here have spent a lot of time studying the Czech people and how we can best interact with them. For those of you who don't know, the Czech people in general tend to be very reserved. Relationships are very important to them, though. They say once you become friends with a Czech, you are friends for life. That's what makes these short term missions trips unique, and frankly somewhat challenging. The missionaries here have a list of "5 thresholds" that they use to gauge where the Czech people are at spiritually. Here they are:

1. Trusting a Christian
2. Curiosity
3. Becoming open to change
4. Seeking after God
5. Entering the Kingdom

Now the camp is made up of mostly high school and college aged kids who would not consider themselves to be believers. So the difficult thing for us to deal with is that there are very little conversions to Christianity that take place during the week at camp. However, when you understand the culture a bit more, it becomes easier to see that we can still make a big difference in the lives of the campers. If we can take the time to gain the trust of some of the campers by being their friend, then perhaps we can get them to the point where they are curious enough to start asking questions about God. Then, if we are able to come back the next year, hopefully we can pickup where we left off and get them to the point that they are willing to change some things in their lives in order to follow Christ.

Natalie and I are especially excited to continue developing some of the relationships that we started at last years camp. We are hoping that the trust we have developed with those campers will lead to conversations that get them asking questions about what it means to be a Christian.

(Two years ago we made a video about the history of Christianity in the Czech Republic.  Check it out.)

Bringing Jesus to College Athletes

What began years ago as two fathers watching their sons play basketball has grown into a full-time ministry at Praire Lakes Church.

Ken Trautmann, PLC chaplain, met Tim Boettger from Orchard Hill Church, who had been leading chapel for UNI football players.

“We got to know the entire Boettger family when our sons played on the same AAU basketball team in the fourth- or fifth-grade. I helped coach the team with another dad and we would speak to the boys before each game,  about character, and include verses and events from the Bible,” Ken said. “Knowing my interest in sports, Tim invited me to come with him to chapel. I started doing Friday chapels with some of the players before Saturday games. A few years after that we began a Bible study during the season. For many years, we hovered about four to six players and only met during the season. As Tim felt the Lord leading him to different ministry, he asked me to take over, which I gladly accepted.”

A few years ago, Scott Frost, now UNI's co-defensive coordinator, joined the coaching staff as linebackers coach and encouraged the players to attend the study. The group has evolved from a season-only study to a year-round study, averaging 25 people.

“Scott also helped begin a Fellowship of Christian Athletes chapter and other athletes beside football players became involved. We have seen many young men and women trust Christ as their Savior,” Ken said. “We have done topical Bible studies, book studies, and gone verse-by-verse, through various books of the Bible.”

Now PLC hosts an FCA meeting two Mondays a month, and on the other Mondays, Ken and his wife, Lynn, host a co-ed Bible study for anyone interested. Lynn also leads a Thursday night study with girlfriends of the football players. About 10 women attend the study, which meets year-round.

“We are excited about what God is doing on the athletic teams and are thrilled to be part of it,” Ken said. “This ministry has drawn me closer to Jesus by challenging me to live by faith. The work God has allowed us to share has become, for Lynn and me, the passion of our lives. We rejoice because we are privileged to see lives changed.  Our two children at home also get to know these students and interact with them, which has been an extra blessing. God is good.”

Death of a Loved One

Someone you love becomes terminally ill and you begin a grieving process with them.  When they have a relationship with Christ, there is often a surreal mixture of peace, joy, and anticipation, along with the sadness, pain, confusion.  There are many things you will miss about them such as future shared experiences on earth. Yet, there is an excitement about the possibilities of your interactions once in heaven together.

But, what if your loved one doesn’t have an expressed relationship with Christ?  What if you are unsure about where they stand in their faith? 

Pray for wisdom and boldness to proclaim the truth of the gospel message to them.  Plan a time to sit and talk with them.   Ask them about their spiritual journey.  Share what Jesus means in your life.  Let them know Jesus loves them no matter what and that He died on the cross to pay the price for their sins.  Tell them they simply need to ask for His blood to cover their sins and let God guide their time left on the earth.

But, what if you don’t get or take that chance?  How do you live with the uncertainty of their eternal future?

God desires everyone to know Him, and wants no one to perish [2 Peter 3:9].  He may work through others, or the nature of the Holy Spirit may directly touch their heart without any human knowledge.  He alone knows their heart at the end of their lives.  He alone knows the choice they made…and we have to trust the God who loves us…no matter what. 

Small Thing, Big Impact

A light-hearted phone call, a friendly visit, or a card of encouragement.  These are small things that can make a big impact in someone's life!  Here's a recent example from a couple chaplains:

Alan and I went to the visitation for Richard at the Zion Lutheran Church in Dysart, tonight.  As we were driving into town, we stopped a young man on a bicycle and asked for directions to the church.  His face lit up and he said, "Did you come to see Richie?"  (Only in small-town Iowa!)  We visited Richard's wife and daughter at the church.  They said this past week that all Richard talked about his visit with Alan and I.  He said he'd made his peace with God, and was ready to go.   - Joyce

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9, NIV

Chaplains that Care

A couple weekends ago, Tim and I decided to go to Saturday night service, something we hardly ever do.  After the service started, Pastor John introduced a baby and while the congregation was praying for the family, I heard a noise behind me -- but couldn't tell if it was laughter or someone sobbing uncontrollably.  After the prayer, I turned around to see that the woman sitting in the row behind me was sobbing, and was all by herself.  I turned around to ask if she was okay, and she told me that she had lost her baby five months ago --  and had it been born, it would have been born at the same time as the one who was just introduced.  I held out my hand for her and she took it and we talked for just a few moments.  After that, Pastor John asked people to greet those around them and I stood up, gave her a hug and asked if she wanted to go pray.  At this point, my husband Tim had also entered into the situation, and the three of us went to the family room to pray.

Before praying we talked with her for just a little bit and learned that she had just recommitted herself to Christ in early April.  When we asked how that came about, she explained that her friend just never gave up on her and she finally took the step.  (It turns out that the friend who helped her take this step was a gal that Tim and I prayed with after the sermon on marriage.)  We also found out that she never usually goes to Saturday night service either, but had decided right before the service that she would go.  It was really powerful to see how God had orchestrated all of these events, interworkings, and connections and clearly none of them are coincidences.  She was so incredibly grateful and surprised that we had even asked her if she was okay when we heard her crying.    

- Anne Bonsall Hoekstra 

This is just one of the many examples of our amazing Prairie Lakes Chaplains, hard at work.  Please keep them in your prayers that God would continue to orchestrate divine appointements, just like this, that will further the Kingdom!

Becoming Foster Parents

In “Forgotten God: Reversing our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit,” Francis Chan addresses our fear of the Holy Spirit:

“What if God does show up but then asks you to go somewhere or do something that's uncomfortable? ...The truth is the Spirit of the Living God is guaranteed to ask you to go somewhere or do something you wouldn't normally want or chose to do.”

For Karen Morlan, who is a self-professed Francis Chan groupie, and her husband Ron, God definitely asked them to do something uncomfortable: become foster parents.

“Many of our friends had adopted or were in the process of adopting. Watching and walking with them through the process stirred something in me,” said Karen. “Then over a two-week period God bombarded me with the idea. While dropping off the kids at school I noticed the license plate cover in front of me. It said, 'Give kids a break-try foster care.' I had probably been behind that car dozens of times but finally noticed it.”

Last year she listened to a Francis Chan podcast where he said hundreds of people at his church signed up for foster care classes. She was also reading Chan's book and “Hole in our Gospel” by Richard Stearns.

“It was obvious I had to check into foster care. I asked myself and Ron; 'What were we doing for the least of these?'  'Where am I being a real follower?' and  'What is that uncomfortable thing we may be avoiding?' I challenged him to read 'Forgotten God.' He only got a few chapters in and said all his reasons for saying no had everything to do with fear and being comfortable. So we googled "foster care Iowa." Up popped IowaKidsnet,” she said.

IowaKidsNet a statewide collaboration of six agencies, recruits, trains, licenses and supports Iowa's adoptive and foster parents. The agencies also partner with other child welfare organizations to “help all of Iowa's children reach their potential for greatness.”

The Morlans attended an informational meeting, completed a 10-week training session and an in-home study. In August, they became licensed foster care parents. Then the waiting began.

“The whole process has been submitting to the Spirit. We said we were only going to take children younger than ours (9-year-old Abbie and 7-year-old boys Andrew and Isaac), but the calls for those children were emergency placements. By the time I spoke with Ron, the children were already placed, so we just waited. We waited trusting the 'right' child would come. Thanksgiving came and went. Christmas came and went,” Karen said.

On Dec. 28, they got a call to take a 12-year-old girl.

“We should have said no, we always said we'd say no, there was no reason to say yes. Except Ron and I both felt we were supposed to say yes. We talked it over with kids. Abbie was an immediate yes, Isaac said 'at least we would be helping someone' and Andrew said 'whatever.' Lauren came to us on Dec. 29,” Karen said.

Living with an almost-teen can be challenging. For the Morlans, it has been a daily, if not moment-by-moment, submission to God.

“It's four months later and we all love her. I constantly think of Paul in Romans 9, how he was willing to give up what he had in Christ so all others could come to Christ. We have power because of the Spirit to love people supernaturally! My daily prayer is to love Lauren the way she needs to be loved,” Karen said. “The other night at dinner Andrew prayed, 'Thank you, God, for our foster sister Lauren 'cause I really like her and thanks to Mom and Dad for fostering.”